kannibaliztik (kannibaliztik) wrote,
kannibaliztik
kannibaliztik

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Newest Poem :: Catching Wing ~Z style~



Well, I haven't been on in a while, too busy doing random things that I won't waste time talking about, lol. So, I've decided to post up one of my poems... it's not too good, so any criticism would be greatly appreciated. A lot of figurative speech, but it shouldn't be too hard to work out. And its pretty emo. =]

CaT:C-h-ing Wing ~Z style~

 

I thought there was someone there, but after closer inspection…

no me… no you…

maybe it was the sea laughing at me, or maybe the moon’s babies that reminded me of a smile floating in space

my hand reached out to embrace it, but gently, mockingly, the smile grew wider

 

crumbling apart at my touch, I wonder why I can only see a reflection…

a butterfly spreads its wings in front of me

 

I thought there was someone there, but after turning around…

no me… no you…

maybe it was the whisper of wind playing with me, or maybe the moon’s rays that reminded me of a smile floating in space

my hand reached out to embrace it, but gently, cruelly, the smile grew wider

 

“* … *”  “* … *” (screaming part)

 

I thought the clock in nothingness would blossom and wake me up

instead, time pulls away, going backwards and tracing my life

a plastic film is wrapped around my face and everything is blurred

but that nonexistent butterfly is clear, and never stops flying as we pass the seasons

 

I thought there was someone there, but after turning around…

no me… no you…

 

I thought there was someone there, but after turning around…

no me… no you…[there’s no one]

no me… no you…[in the dark]

no me… no you…[I’m enveloped]

 

I can see its reflection dancing skillfully on the water, as if everything was planned from the start …[the small piece of hope keeps flying]

now my heart tells me to stay where time has stopped… …[farther and farther out of reach]

I can’t follow my heart

now my heart tells me to die alone where time is not there… …[I still hear the butterfly flying away]

I can’t follow my heart

so I follow the butterfly …[someday… I’ll catch up]

:::::if it was too hard to understand?::::: (explanation XD)

Okay, if it was too hard to follow...this is from a man's point of view. The butterfly is his ex-lover, maybe dead, maybe dumped him, that part's up to your own imagination. The butterfly's reflection shows that he can see his lover as if she were still there, but she's not. And he's so obsessed with her that everything else becomes blurry (thus, the plastic film). Also, after his lover is gone, he begins to look back on his life, and how only his lover (the butterfly) really stood out. Now, all that's left is the "reflection" of his lover, or "memories". At the end, he still wants her and can't stop loving her.

If it helps you to paint an image, just think of a man sitting in front of a lake with a plastic film over his face, leaving his eyes uncovered, and he is watching many seasons pass while he sees a butterfly's reflection in the lake---but the butterfly itself is not there.

Please comment some feedback! I want to become a better writer, so constructive criticism is very helpful. =DDD
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